Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
