I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
