I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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