how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
