things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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