Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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