what day is it and did you see me today?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
