There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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