My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
