Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Im part way to drunk.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
