so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
