I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How external is "for external use only"?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
