The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
