Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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