I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
