i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
