the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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