You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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