Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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