I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
