hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
