My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Dick very happy bro
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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