I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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