C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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