you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
