it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He shit in the fireplace
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
