were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
