there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
