shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
