New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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