Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
