physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
