Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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