The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
