i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
only if we run a train.
done.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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