Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
