She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
