did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
