eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
