Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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