I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
