Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
