Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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