Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
