Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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