she woke up with a sticky ear
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
