i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
