The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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