I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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