We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
