I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
