It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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