worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
