You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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