You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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