Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
